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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Naked is Good

In the beginning all things were naked. That was when all things were good. Even people were naked. Then the Garden of Eden thing happened and it wilted and was closed to the public. Things couldn't be naked any more. Great minds like, Michelangelo, tried to restore the dignity of nakedness and his successors painted clothes over his nude figures. But where others have failed the Ducati Monster 796 naked bike has succeeded. Finally a savouir who restores nakedness to that important part of our world without which we are almost dust in the wind--motorcycles. While mankind still has to cover his glory in blue jeans and  Banana Republic the Ducati Monster can streak in broad daylight and be proud of it. It goes where man could only go in another life. The Ducati gives us a glimpse of that life to come when once again we will be restored to our candescent innocence and just be able to be ourselves.

The Monster restores the relationship lost in Eden. Since the Garden, guys have never completely gotten along with girls and vice versa. Some guys have even had to resort to calling dogs their best friends and girls turn to retail therapy when the relationship is strained. The Ducati heals that.

From the physique to personality she presents the perfect companion for man. Smooth atheletic curves. Seductive but sinless and unquestionably faithful with a electronic security ignition that means she'll only start for one person in this world--you. An indomitable, independent 84hp will and yet lacking nothing of docility and gentle handling with an upside Marzocchi fork and a lightweight body structure. Flexibility? 120mm of shock travel so when the relationship hits a bump you both can bounce back smoothly. The Desmo symphony pouring out of the exhausts give her a voice that you'll love hearing at any time of the day. Sweet vibrations of the 2 cylinder revving up your spine mean she's a qualified massage therapist. What more could a guy ask for? OK, she doesn't like walking home in the rain and prefers premium fuel over pina colada but you'll be willing to suffer that and much more without hesitation when you see that at 45 mpg date night in good weather can be almost anywhere for just a few bucks.

The time for man to become good again has come but who will tame him? For some of us it'll take a Monster.